if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
