So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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