Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize
