My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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