i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
