My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm bleeding and have questions
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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