So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
