the new term for farting is butt boxing.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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