Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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