I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
