Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize