I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
