I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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