last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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