You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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