her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
what day is it and did you see me today?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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