so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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