Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we're making bets on your personal life
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
