the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize