called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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