They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
