I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
