I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
