Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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