its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
