it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
