He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I will be naked everywhere
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
