They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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