Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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