I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize