You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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