wat bout pragnant strippers??
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
