why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
True college students do jello shots in the library
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
