I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize