So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
