I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
