i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
