Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
