It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
