If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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