Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize