This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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