in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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