I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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