Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
