my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
How external is "for external use only"?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
