idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
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I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
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As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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