But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
