You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
