They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
