i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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