So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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