Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
