Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
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