just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
please come you make the beer taste better
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
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