She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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