Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
