dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
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my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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