So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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