so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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