im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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