dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I woke up under a house in Key West
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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