The maid of honor just puked.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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