i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
