I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
