God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
