Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
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through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
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We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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